Past events keep churning in my mind. I have done many varied things in my life. Some things were enjoyable. I once spent a couple of years working and travelling around Europe before serving in the military. Some things were unenjoyable. I was broke and drug-addled in Europe before being imprisoned on a warship. I … Continue reading I am stuck in a feedback loop
Someone once said 'anger is an engery' - I believe it was Johnny Rotten. He also said the UK was a fascist regime so he wasn't always on the money. Still, he had a point about anger. Anger is revitalising. Anger is powerful. Anger is debilitating. Anyone who has ever been angry in front of … Continue reading What is anger?
This is what I tell myself every time it creeps up on me. The trick works pretty much every time. It just takes a while sometimes. It is hard, after all, to unlearn a lifetime of stubborn thinking. Hemingway once said he spoke to himself as if he were conversing with another reasonable man - … Continue reading The past is nothing
I am a workaholic. My candle is well and truly burnt at both ends. I do it for the man, of course. But then the man pays me well. And I like him. Sure, the corporate world is driven by greed, but no one pretends otherwise - this naked fact guides our every action. There … Continue reading What happened when I tried to leave work on time
Today I am going to be busy. Some men dig ditches, others stack shelves or clean toilets. I work in an office. So when I complain that I will be busy, what I really mean is that my life has worked out. Today will be a good day.
I do not like 'taking it easy'. There really is little point in resting on a Sunday. Sure, Sunday is supposed to be the day to recharge, to regroup and gather yourself. But while you may rest your body the mind never switches off, never takes a break. One simply pretends to rest while continuing … Continue reading Sunday is not a day of rest
My employers have put me up in a hotel. A luxury hotel. It is all very fancy. It is also very strange - inasmuch as it is both the saddest and happiest space I have ever occupied. I am just another anonymous businessman (albeit one free of perversity and repressed English rage). An office drone. … Continue reading Why are hotels so strange?
The mighty JJ Cale once said: We took love easy One day at a time I keep those memories in my mind Ain't a day goes by I don't stop and cry Things ain't simple anymore But the truth is, things never were simple. I love JJ, but on this point his silky voice mutters … Continue reading Why aren’t things simple?
There is no reason to feel anger. No reason whatsoever. Unless you're locked in a cataclysmic, interpersonal conflict of course - in which case it can be pretty handy. In all other cases, it is a pointless, debilitating emotion. And yet there it is - hanging in the back of my head. Pounding on those … Continue reading What is the point in being angry?
Why did this happen?This question, in its many forms, often burns through my mind. An unpleasant incident occurs, and I immediately dig into its background, as if to diagnose the unfathomable nature of my unease. But this is the wrong thing to do. Incidents occur - some of which make me unhappy. There is no … Continue reading There is no problem