Why do all online daters claim to love travelling?

Why is the online dating world obsessed with travelling? Chloe had leaned on this conversational crutch; she was not the first, of course, nor would she be the last. Indeed, I have caught myself harping on about foreign lands (any old foreign land will do, but as a general rule it is best to opt … Continue reading Why do all online daters claim to love travelling?

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The day my boss threatened me

After accidentally insulting a well-connected woman at a networking event, I had to face my boss's wrath -- "Oh, look, it's the male Carrie Bradshaw. Good morning." Jess was sitting at her desk, fiddling with her phone. "Why do I tell you anything, Jessica? Honestly." I threw my man-bag down. "How are you, good weekend … Continue reading The day my boss threatened me

I accidentally insulted my date

This is the story of how I accidentally insulted my date via text. -- The second date is always a quandary. I never quite know where to go - in the literal sense. The first date is easy. I have a rolodex of venues in my head (well, I would if it were the '80s, … Continue reading I accidentally insulted my date

I tried to reinvent myself in the office

I walked into the office on a sunny Monday morning. It had been just over a week since my networking meltdown and - as I was yet to reap the whirlwind - I began to relax. As usual Jess was in before me. Unintentionally slamming my faux-leather satchel down, I greeted her with a salute. … Continue reading I tried to reinvent myself in the office

I ridiculed myself at a networking event

This is the story of how I was forced to 'network'. And how it nearly ruined my career. --- Rita, the HR director, summoned us to the grey inferno that was her office. She was a tall, skeletal brunette with razor blue eyes. After some cursory chat about our still-broken air conditioning she commanded my … Continue reading I ridiculed myself at a networking event

A ruinous date in gentrified South London

After several failures I decided to start online dating - again. --- Jane met me at Brockley station. We walked into the Vineyard to find it only half full of people. And yet you could say the bar was packed - with reserved signs. At every table sat a tiny sign with someone's name, 'Sam' … Continue reading A ruinous date in gentrified South London

This is how men talk about women

I had just been on a hellish date with my work colleague, Charlotte. --- I thought a lot about Charlotte while checking my dating apps on the way home. Nothing erases the past quite like the prospect of fresh degradation. That evening, I fumbled through a swarm of pixelated faces in my room. The front … Continue reading This is how men talk about women

My hellish date with a coworker

After asking out my colleague Charlotte we go on a date. --- We met up on a wet afternoon. It was strange seeing Charlotte in her casual array, she had dispensed with her pencil skirt and heels and gone for a many layered floral outfit. It wasn’t easy to see where the skirt ended and the … Continue reading My hellish date with a coworker

The day I asked out a work colleague

My work-friend, Jess, has just tried to set me up with our colleague, Charlotte. --- Jess had done the heavy lifting with Charlotte, all that was left was for me to ask her out. I should have been overjoyed but I was concerned – rejection would mean a black mark against my name. I turned … Continue reading The day I asked out a work colleague

Why women prefer my brother over me

This is a serialisation of my book 'I am Marcello'. After a string of flailed dates, I meet my suave, older brother Dan for drinks. --- I bought two pints of Peroni and we took up a table in the corner. The Greyhound used to be a notoriously rough boozer, full of off-duty drug dealers … Continue reading Why women prefer my brother over me