Why do all online daters claim to love travelling?

Why is the online dating world obsessed with travelling? Chloe had leaned on this conversational crutch; she was not the first, of course, nor would she be the last. Indeed, I have caught myself harping on about foreign lands (any old foreign land will do, but as a general rule it is best to opt … Continue reading Why do all online daters claim to love travelling?

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I accidentally insulted my date

This is the story of how I accidentally insulted my date via text. -- The second date is always a quandary. I never quite know where to go - in the literal sense. The first date is easy. I have a rolodex of venues in my head (well, I would if it were the '80s, … Continue reading I accidentally insulted my date

A ruinous date in gentrified South London

After several failures I decided to start online dating - again. --- Jane met me at Brockley station. We walked into the Vineyard to find it only half full of people. And yet you could say the bar was packed - with reserved signs. At every table sat a tiny sign with someone's name, 'Sam' … Continue reading A ruinous date in gentrified South London

The different types of tramp in London

I was on a date with Lucy. We were walking through Soho when a disheveled man approached. "Excuse me," he said. "I was wondering if you could help, I've had an accident and lost all my money. I need to get the bus home but I'm 40p short." I scoffed and skipped round him. Lucy … Continue reading The different types of tramp in London

Why you should never talk politics on a date

There is something unseemly about discussing politics on a date. On a first date anyway. First dates should be about the star-fire of urbane humour and charming, self-deprecating chatter. First dates are for talking about your wonderful friends (honestly, they're like my family) and offering moist-eyed anecdotes about your cherubic nephews. First dates should also … Continue reading Why you should never talk politics on a date

My hellish date with a coworker

After asking out my colleague Charlotte we go on a date. --- We met up on a wet afternoon. It was strange seeing Charlotte in her casual array, she had dispensed with her pencil skirt and heels and gone for a many layered floral outfit. It wasn’t easy to see where the skirt ended and the … Continue reading My hellish date with a coworker

The day I asked out a work colleague

My work-friend, Jess, has just tried to set me up with our colleague, Charlotte. --- Jess had done the heavy lifting with Charlotte, all that was left was for me to ask her out. I should have been overjoyed but I was concerned – rejection would mean a black mark against my name. I turned … Continue reading The day I asked out a work colleague

My date with an East London hipster

This is a serialisation of my book 'I am Marcello'. After being rejected by a corporate lawyer I meet a chipper charity worker. --- Online dating. I supposed it is all a bit like job hunting: a steady flow of rejection, interspersed with the occasional prospect. Already the process was robotic, leaving my newly revived … Continue reading My date with an East London hipster

15 Things all young men should know about sex

1 - Having sex with a work colleague is never worth it - you know this, and yet this knowledge is no deterrent whatsoever. 2 - When you start having sex with a female friend, they stop being a mere 'friend'. While it may feel amazing to have a 'friend with benefits' - this arrangement … Continue reading 15 Things all young men should know about sex

Real romance only exists in the movies

I love the idea of cinema. Movies themselves bore me, but cinema – the concept of cinema – is beautiful. I appreciate this may sound convoluted and (like Corbyn in a bind) I don’t want to be misunderstood; therefore, I should say that while I am not wedded to the idea of cinematic art, I … Continue reading Real romance only exists in the movies